What if Fearless Wasn't the Goal?

Can we talk about this latest obsession with being fearless? I've noticed an uptick in striving for being fearless. While I get the intention is to inspire, there is risk in having fearless be the goal. Sure, fearless is often used interchangeably with courage, brave, daring, gutsy, bold, fierce, badassery - all exceptional ways of being in the world. 

Photo by AJ Yorio

Photo by AJ Yorio

And yet, I often hear things like "I wish I was fearless.", "I wish I wasn't scared.", "So and so can do that because they don't have fear.", "I'll do it when I don't have any fear.", "Can you help me get rid of my fear?".

People wishing and striving to not have ANY fear, to in-fact be literally fearless.

Which keeps you from ever doing the thing that would have you feeling fearless in the first place.

We are human beings, wired to experience fear. Do some people have a greater capacity to be with fear? Yes. Do some people not experience fear in certain areas? Sure. Do they have fear in other areas? Most likely. 

For one person - jumping out of a plane is the most thrilling thing they could ever do. For another - all the money in the world wouldn't get them up in that plane. For one person - leaving a job to start their own business is a risk they are willing to take. While for another - they can't think of anything more terrifying. Loving again after extreme heartbreak may be a no brainer for one person and take years of work for another.

Striving to be fearless is subjective, relative, and frankly, a great way to not ever build that thing you really want to build.

So what if the goal wasn't to be fearless? What if the goal was to expand your capacity to be with fear? 

It means doing the scary thing. It means expanding your ability to be with the discomfort of fear. It means being more committed to what you want to see in your life and the world than the goal of being void of fear. And it likely means getting supported in a way you never have before.

Building your muscle around fear could look like you ...

  • Making the phone call
  • Leaving your soul-sucking job
  • Telling someone you love them
  • Booking that plane ticket
  • Raising the level of your leadership
  • Saying the bold thing
  • Starting that non-profit
  • Signing up for the race
  • Taking that class
  • Launching that podcast
  • Making a choice
  • Writing that book
  • Saying yes, saying no
  • Expanding your business
  • Getting out of your head
  • Aligning your passion, purpose, and profits
  • Finding more joy
  • Deciding you actually are a builder of legacies

And a bajillion other things. 

Unless your goal is to be a robot, consider giving up the idea of having no fear and instead embrace the idea of expanding your capacity to be with fear. Consider that it is a muscle you can build.

That muscle is built by taking the step (or the leap) over and over again until one day you find yourself doing the 'brush it off your shoulder dance' and thinking no BFD.

You game? As always, I'm practicing it right along with you.

Wishing you loads of mad love and respect,

Sarah