Welcome to 2016. I ended my year with some sweet-ass self-acknowledgement and then proceeded to feel like I came into the new year like a wrecking ball. And yes, I am totally channeling Miley right now. Feel free to sing along. " I came in like a wrecking ball".
While everyone else was going all Spartacus on 2016, I was giving it the evil-eye. Quietly loathing that I wasn't charging into the new year with the zeal I typically do and that which every other person on the planet seemingly was.
So what do you do when you want to throat punch the new year? Or really any moment, day, week, month that channels your darkness more than your lightness? My knee jerk thought to that question was to run away and live in a beach shanty. And maybe take up hammock making. While I love beaches and hammocks, I wouldn't advocate for myself or you to implode your life when things feel shitty.
Instead, consider these four practices:
Accept and Allow: When I get in these head spaces I work really hard to not feel bad. I claw and scream (on the inside) to move beyond it. I judge myself very harshly for not being a shiny service to serve myself and the world. "I am transformed. I am a coach. I am grateful for the life I have. I believe in the excitement of the new year. I SHOULDN'T be in this funk. I am broken. I suck." That's a summarized version of how the conversation goes. What is your go-to internal conversation? What I have noticed, is that once you allow yourself to experience all the feelings, thoughts, body sensations - its less of a fight to come out of it. Accepting that you feel shitty and that its ok gives yourself permission to just be.
Have Compassion: I have it that allowing and accepting what is coming up for you is a form of compassion. For me and many people I work with, the go to is to beat ourselves up for not being a ray of sunlight every minute. Having outrageous compassion for ourselves when we are feeling our worst provides us the gift of space and love to be with the hurt, sadness, disappointment, sinus infection, or whatever is there for you. Compassion is always a gift. Wrap it in a giant bow and give it to yourself.
Welcome Connection: When I am in a funk being in contact with people is literally the last thing I want to do. I would rather stay in my wormhole and disengage from the human race, thank you very much. While there is nothing wrong with taking time to be by yourself, in fact, some people really require it, holding on to the isolation can actually feed the funk. There is nothing like feeling lonely to feed the 'I'm not worthy' conversation. So what does one do when the last thing they want to do in a funk is connect with someone - do it anyway. Call someone that makes you laugh. Call someone who gets your soul. Go to the grocery store and chat up the cashier. Grab coffee with a new connection. Out yourself as being in a funk and that you would love some real conversation.
Notice the Shifts in the Wind: I can be really stubborn. And I really love to be right. Which when I am in a funk, means I might not even realize that the winds have started to shift. I might not see that I am feeling lighter, feeling more inspired, feeling like the loving, hilarious, powerful woman that I know myself to be. It actually sneaks up on me. Notice when your thoughts, feelings, body sensations start to shift. Notice when the fog starts to subside. Dust yourself off and continue to have compassion and connection. Seeing your greatness is just around the corner.
You are a human being. Allow yourself to be human.
Love & Laughter,